I have had four children subhanallah but never once have seen a baby being born. During the natural births of all my children the birthing moment has been filled with joyous hopes, immense expectations, paralysing fears, screamed out duas and intense pain. I thought that was difficult and emotionally overwhelming enough.
Until now.
Witnessing my neice's birth set me off on an emotional rollercoaster - a bigger, faster and wilder one than to my own labours.
If you've never been a birth support and wonder why your own mother, husband or sisters looked so washed out after your birth, let me tell you its a strickening experience that drains the life out of you.
It is almost as if seeing your daughter, wife or sister die and be resurrected again. That moment between the transition and crowning is so petrifying. You see your relative in unbearable pain and you can't do a thing about it except allow your hand to be squeezed like a lemon (and control yourself from saying things just as sour to the midwife or doctor). You are told that the baby is coming but it is no where in sight. You have heard all the stories of things going wrong and all of them at the same time start replaying in your head. You start reciting the dhirk, quran and duas you read with your relative throughout the labour and hold your breath.
The whole thing is akin to a sci-fi move. The bright lights, the smell of alcohol, the buzzing, the beeping machines, the cold steel tools, the monged eyed, tight lipped, scared of being sued hospital staff, the fake cheers in medical monotone and finally this blue gurgling spluterring alien that someone tells you is your niece.
Tabarakallah. I burst into tears out of joy when I found out it was a girl. She was so beautiful mashallah. Her tiny face, arms and legs were just so perfectly created. A little girl that will take be there for my sister thoughout her life inshallah. A little girl whose tiny footsteps I pray will follow in that blessed path the females of our glorious past have tread. The path of the great women mentioned in the Quran and loved by Allah subhana hua ta'ala.
Subhanallah I'm glad for the experience but next time I need to do that again this is what I'll be looking like:
May Allah protect her. Ameen
Umm Musk :)
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