Traditional gyms traditionally mean sweat, stink and sleaze. Throughout the hard silver metal and black vinyl landscape there are images one can not escape. Images of jiggling, bouncing things at every unsuspecting corner. Everywhere you look there are round wobbling things doing what they do best - protuberate. Some are big, some are small, some young, some old, some through wrinkled skin, some covered in cellulite and others lean, mean and tight as buns.
There are some places we muslim women allow our husbands to go to. And there are many other places we do not give permission for. Gyms are one of these places.
Unbeknownst to the non-muslim world it is actually the husband in the muslim marriage who is the oppressed one. But that doesn't matter because no one will believe muslim men when they make that claim or be there to hear their cries. So we can continue to oppress them. Hence I stand firm in saying that I do not agree that it is acceptable for a brother to go to traditional gyms.
This is a contentious topic between my husband and myself.
My husband disagrees and believes there are certain types of gyms that men can attend provided they have reached a level of self-control.
I lean towards the opinion that if we have halal gyms, we should prefer those over regular gyms.
Islamic mens only gym like the one pioneered by some good brothers in South Western Sydney were a brilliant idea for possessive wives like myself. The budding new Islamic youth culture in my local community needed this halal social outlet back in 2008 when Sheikh Feiz created one of the first Islamic gyms inside Liverpools Global Islamic Youth Centre. Today there are many such halal gyms all over Sydney, the most well set being the UMA gym in Lakemba.
Call me insecure, call me oppressive, call me the overly obsessive, possessive wife It doesn't bother me. I call myself the "husband eye hog" - proudly. I disagree because I feel that pious, god fearing men shouldn't place themselves in such places where they can accidentally gawk. True disrespect of a woman is by gawking at her.
I put my argument very simply and spoke frankly.
Women are hot and their things are hot. It's a reality. We just have to accept it, get over it and tackle the situation as say it like it is. I am very vigilantly anti-jiggling things- even if it is an accident or a rare occasion. Most women are anti-jiggling "other woman" things. Muslim women however especially have a sharp eye (and tongue) against their husbands catching any sight of things- especially when this things are bending over, twerking, thumping and bouncing out of it's containing (and failing) lycra fabric all over gym equipment.
So we met halfway in this sense. I am comfortable with our agreement. It's important that in our marriages we discuss what bothers us and important too for our husbands to be let out of their prisons given parole conditions.
My husband put forward to me that he is truly honest with himself, he fears Allah (not me) and that he would never go somewhere that would put him in fitna or upset me. He said that he completely lowers his gaze, head down and glasses off and takes another pious Islamic brother with him. He says he goes straight into a tight corner where he can see no one and no one can see him. He attends a more sophisticated gym that charges triple the price of regular gyms so he can attend at 5am in the morning and other times when the venue is empty.
I am okay with this now but it took many debates for us to reach this consenses. Alhamdulilah for Islam and all of it's ahkam in preserving the muslim marriage. Ameen.
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| Image credit: restored2fitness.org |
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