I remember just a few years ago a two sisters were sitting near me in an Islamic centre discussing sending their children to the local Islamic school.
A world far away from me I thought as I cradled my first newborn, I had a world of problems of my own. I was a new mother, confused and battling with the hundreds of women swamping me with contradictory baby advice. It seemed I was doing everything wrong according to everyone.
One aunty would tell me to put my child's head under a doughnut pillow, another friend insisted a flat metal plate would give her a better head shape, others considered a bean bag for a good round skull, my father bought my baby a travel pillow to sleep on while my mother hand made one, filling it with rye seeds. I was so overwhelmed by the decisions, listening to everyone and everything I ended up giving my daughter a lopsided head, one side ending up larger than the other.
This year my daughter started school and I faced a very similar crossroads once more.
An aunty sweeps down on me from one side insisting that public schools are better than Islamic ones. After all her children went to public schools and they are now Daees and Islamic political activists. Public schools ensure that children learn to tackle non-muslim critique early on in life and these skills will be taken into university and the workplace she tells me. Public schools will make your children strong she concludes. Look at my children, they are absolutely fine, yours will be too.
Another collegue of my husbands needs to create doctors out of his children. Surely this isn't possible at Islamic schools, the education standard is simply not as high as Christian private schools. Private catholic schools are the way to go in his opinion.
All sorts of other family members, friends, collegues, neighbours, shopkeepers, and dog-walking people on the street who meet us and give us their humble opinions.
I felt like the mother of a newborn again. There is one's own pain of battling with the mind, followed by a bombardment of conflicting advice. Life has taught me a valuable skill: ignoring. This time around I am better prepared at learning to ignore advice - my daughters head has not quite recovered from its lopsidedness and serves as an excellent reminder of implementing this skill.
Alhamdulilah there is only one type of advice we find useful regardless of the matter or the age of our children. The advice of Allah and his Messenger salalahu alayhi wasalam.
I heard a mother say on this issue of school selection "in the end we have to decide what Allah would be pleased with" and hers is the advice I will go with inshallah.
I have read the recent report published by Hizb ut Tahrir pertaining to the issue of government intervention and agendas carried out within Islamic Schools via funding and through strictly enforced policies. It does make me nervous I won't deny it.
I see the intervention with my own eyes in the form of buildings on which wealth has been squandered, I see the tight skirts and heavy makeup, I see the wandering eyes of male teachers when they free-mix with the female teachers, I hear the crass, loud laughter from the staff rooms, I see the negligence of these role-models reflected in the students and I feel a heavy sickness in my stomach. I feel doubts troubling my heart, "is this truly the environment that Allah would be pleased with?"
But at the end of the day I see myself before Muhammad peace be upon him. I see him as he might have watched me in my decision making process. I imagine him and transport myself 1400 years back in time, I imagine that the pagan Quraish had created a school, the Arabian Christians priests had established a school and the Muslim sahabah (ra) had established a school. Which school would he salalahu alayhi wasalam have encouraged me to send my child to?
The muslims of today are no comparison to the sahaba, the schools we have built are not truly free from corruption and intervention, they have financial mismanagement and the teachers at not quite hafidh-ul-quran mualim ad-deen shayk-ul-islam rahimahuallahs but...
Allah has blessed us in this dry barren land with a rich soil full of potential. We have legal, functioning and academically successful Islamic schools. I want to try at least make some use of this blessing. There must be a reason Allah has allowed this.
Despite all that I have seen, I am still sending my daughter to an Islamic school this year alhamdulilah. Regardless of everything, these are institutions where the remembrance of Allah is made daily, the praise of Prophet (pbuh) is sent, there is the ability to offer two prayers on time with the community, our children hear the greetings of salam and ultimately our children obtain a sense of community.
The most important lesson taught at Islamic schools however is tolerance of different approaches to Islam. Although this is a lesson taught subconsciously, we all learn as a family to respect muslims who hold different views, who dress differently, who drink differently and who think differently.
We strive to have mercy on those who have not quite developed their iman yet and to humble ourselves by appreciating those muslims views that surpass us because of our own lack of iman. If tolerance, respect, mercy and humbleness are virtues my children can learn from being placed at an Islamic school then alhamdulilah this is the decision I will stick to with continuing duas of istikhara inshallah.
Umm Musk :)
